UPR
What Is Congruence in Counselling?
The Power of Realness in the Counselling Room
At Fiona Jane Counselling in Lincoln, I believe healing begins not with perfection—but with honesty.
Congruence—the therapist’s ability to be genuine, transparent, and fully present—is the quiet foundation of trust that makes real change possible.
Being Real, Not “Professional”
Congruence means your therapist doesn’t hide behind a mask of clinical detachment. Instead, they show up as a real human being: warm, grounded, and authentically engaged. This isn’t about oversharing—it’s about integrity between what’s felt and what’s expressed.
The Opposite of Role-Playing
Many people leave therapy feeling like they’ve spoken to a “role,” not a person. Congruent counselling in Lincoln is different. Here, you’ll meet Fiona Jane—not “The Therapist™”—but a skilled, reflective practitioner who listens with her whole self.
Why Congruence Builds Deeper Trust
Safety Through Authenticity
When your counsellor is congruent, you sense it—even if you can’t name it. Their tone, presence, and responsiveness feel aligned, not rehearsed. This subtle consistency helps your nervous system relax, making space for vulnerability.
Modelling Wholeness
Seeing someone hold their own humanity with kindness—without faking calm or certainty—gives you permission to do the same. Congruence quietly teaches: “You don’t have to be polished to be worthy.”
How Congruence Shows Up in Sessions
No False Positivity
If you’re in deep pain, Fiona won’t respond with forced optimism. Instead, she’ll meet you with grounded presence—acknowledging the weight you carry without flinching or fixing.
Gentle Honesty When Needed
Sometimes, congruence means saying, “I’m not sure—but I’m willing to explore this with you,” or “I notice I’m feeling cautious here—can we slow down?” This transparency builds collaborative trust.
❗ Important: Congruence is not about the therapist’s needs—it’s about relational integrity.
At Fiona Jane Counselling in Lincoln, authenticity always serves your process—not the therapist’s comfort. Personal disclosures are rare and only used when they genuinely support your growth. True congruence is humble, bounded, and client-centred.
My Approach
Ethical, Accredited, and Client-Focused
I am a BACP and ISPC registered counsellor, ensuring professional standards and confidentiality. I work collaboratively with clients across Lincolnshire to build resilience, clarity, and emotional wellbeing—without judgment.
Important! In Crisis?
- Call Samaritans free, 24/7, on 116 123
- Text SHOUT to 85258 for immediate crisis support
- Visit samaritans.org for confidential listening
About Fiona Jane
Fiona offers integrative counselling and coaching for relationships, anxiety, depression and wellbeing—online and across Lincolnshire.
Empathy
Empathy – deeply understanding another’s feelings & perspective—validation and compassionate presence without judgment. With attunement, kindness, patience, and presence.
UPR
Unconditional positive regard means accepting and valuing a person wholly—without judgment, conditions, or expectation of change. With warmth, respect, consistency, and care.
Congruence
Congruence is the therapist’s genuine, authentic presence—being real, transparent, and aligned in words, feelings, and actions. With integrity, honesty, openness, and self-awareness.
Empathy FAQ's
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1. What does “congruence” mean in counselling?
1. What does “congruence” mean in counselling?
Congruence means your therapist is genuine and transparent—not playing a role. At Fiona Jane Counselling in Lincoln, it means you’re met by a real person, not a clinical mask.
2. Is it okay for my therapist to show their true feelings?
2. Is it okay for my therapist to show their true feelings?
Yes—when it serves your therapy. Congruence isn’t about the therapist’s emotions taking centre stage; it’s about honest, bounded presence that builds safety and trust.
3. How is congruence different from just being “nice”?
3. How is congruence different from just being “nice”?
Being “nice” can be performative. Congruence is deeper: it’s consistency between what a therapist feels, says, and does—even when it’s quiet, uncertain, or uncomfortable.
4. Why does congruence matter for trauma or neurodivergent clients?
4. Why does congruence matter for trauma or neurodivergent clients?
Many have learned to distrust surface-level interactions. A congruent therapist in Lincoln offers predictability through authenticity—helping your nervous system feel safe enough to heal.
5. Will my therapist share personal stories if they’re congruent?
5. Will my therapist share personal stories if they’re congruent?
Rarely—and only if it directly supports your process. True congruence is humble and client-centred, not self-disclosing. Fiona’s focus remains always on you, not her story.
Services Provided
Counselling
Explore your feelings in a safe, confidential space—gain clarity and healing
CBT
Rewire unhelpful thoughts, reduce anxiety, and build lasting emotional resilience
Hypnotherapy
Gentle, solution-focused sessions to reduce stress, break unhelpful patterns, create lasting change
Life Coaching
Create a life filled with purpose, cultivate lasting joy, align your daily actions with your deepest ambitions
Business Coaching
Strengthen leadership and professional performance, achieve sustainable work-life harmony
Business Coaching
Strengthen leadership and professional performance, achieve sustainable work-life harmony
Counselling Insights
Fiona Jane
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